Conversation at Night | How To Handle Your Finances and Investments | Season 1 Episode 5


thank you for joining us on this episode
of conversations at night I am your host Irene Sidede and on tonight’s episode
we have a phenomenal guest she’s a wife mother of five real estate investor
financial advisor and she is also a lead manager at a manufacturing plant so stay
tuned to see what she has to say because I do believe that you’re gonna love this
episode thank you for joining us on this episode of conversations at night
tonight we have Pamela Ray how are you doing I’m well how are you good I’m
excited to have you on the show thank you for the invitation yes money money
money start off with savings accounts how do you start with how do you open
one how do we start saving money you know just where do we get started the
basics well remember how we were as kids to where we started off with the piggy
bank and then we were able to put whatever change we had in the piggy bank
and saved up for whatever toy or whatever outfit we wanted that’s where
we started our very first savings and as we got older we forgot that even that
simple piggy bank can still be a savings in saving a change or a dollar a day
anything like that to be able to save up for X and whatever X is so it’s no
longer consider emergency funds we want to make sure it’s considered an
opportunity fund because we want blessings we want opportunities to come
to us and be presented to us so the best way is to start off small you start off
with a change you can start off a dollar a day you know it’s just it’s whatever
is comfortable enough for you that you will not affect your family’s food
living arrangements now not saying that you are going to save just a little
bit of money a days but you’re gonna make sure that you have all the
extravagance that you that you would like the goal is to be able to sacrifice
a little so you can gain much later on in life and what would you say is a good
age for people to start saving Oh anytime my first like I said my first
savings account was a piggy bank but then when I got an eighth grade my
family friend opened up a savings account for me and gave me money to put
in my savings account so and this is back in the day when they gave you a
little savings book that you would have to hand to them and they would write
down exactly what you had in the account but I felt like an adult because I said
this was my money I have an account it’s underneath my name so it just it was
like that’s celebrating a win like I’m doing big things only had like three
dollars in there but in my mind I was still doing big things so any age
grandparents are infamous of giving their grandchildren money which is great
because they haven’t means to be able to do it why not open up that account for
them to be able to say this is your money to be able to save for something
later on and then now you have to teach the child or the grandchild okay just
because you want something right now doesn’t necessarily mean you have to
have it right at that moment and there’s even ways to where you can
gift stock to where they have gift cards now that you are purchasing a share of
stock and that could be a donation to non donation but a gift for that
individual and they are officially an investor I mean what better way to even
say congratulations happy birthday you’re graduating especially we just
finished graduations then by saying here’s your first investment and how
would you suggest for kids to how to understand finances or understand
how to handle money and so forth schools have done a disservice because it is not
a requirement of graduation to understand money unless you’re really
bad at algebra geometry traits then they’ll say okay here’s your finance
class that you’ll need to make sure that you learn what you need to learn and be
able to handle your own business as you become an adult
so it’s either parents are going to teach which we teach more with actions
than with words because we could tell our child make sure they pay their bills
on time but if I try to see the electricity go off we’re showing them
that we’re not even following the same example that we’re telling them so it’s
a matter of introducing them to other people that you see that are successful
may not be that millionaire but if they’re at a better spot than you are
then tell them or ask them to teach your child your niece or nephew whomever it
is a lesson of what they should learn to be able to be productive citizen later
on and you didn’t say that the school system is doing a disservice to kids yes
why do you think that is because there isn’t there it’s not a requirement it’s
not a requirement graduation yes you are required to have a certain amount of
math you’re required to have a certain amount of electives yes but only a
certain amount of kids can be in each class so if you had that accounting
class or if you have that finance class that is the elective only a certain
amount gonna be in so then the rest of the folks that may be in higher math are
receiving that information but no longer receiving the information how to balance
a checkbook how to figure out credit card interest how to handle a car
payment all of that is missed it’s related to budgeting yes now let’s
dive into budgeting what do people need to know when it comes to budgeting how
do they start because I know a lot of people don’t even know what like ways to
start they just spender so they it’s just like who’s gonna spend what I get
and paycheck is gonna come that’s right – that’s right and just continues to
repeat itself that’s right so the first thing you do for the first in between
pay period so their first period – the next pay period spend spend as you would
normally spend don’t change anything what you do the only thing you do now is
monitor it so if you spent $5.00 on on a coffee fine just write it down coffee
however much then after that now let’s analyze it what are you really spending
on are you spending on things that you need are you spending on things that you
want so now and then how much of it is just dining out how much of it is
actually food for the house how much is it going to your bills so now you’re
narrowing it down to what section of your pie is or what your budgeting pie
is then from that you can say okay now I need a budget I need a set aside this
amount of money for electricity this amount of money for water there’s amount
of money for food and then after that you monitor yourself every week and a
reason say every week is you are your own corporation so we all are a CEO of
ourselves so as a CEO of yourself we all have shareholders and our
shareholders could be our family it could be our children it could be our
friends but they have invested in us whether it is love whether it is money
but they have an investment in us to succeed so every quarter if you’ve ever
watched you know a Wall Street Wall Street show ever
quarter every company has to say how the quarter was and then the shareholders
will decide if they don’t continue to invest in that company or not so every
quarter that’s four times a year there’s four weeks in a month so every week
you’re gonna treat that as if your company yourself is having its quarterly
announcement and then see what did I do this week how did I do
did I overspend on one thing and not enough on the other because many times
we will spend to feel good so is that really that item that you purchased is
it really good for you did it just feel good at the moment is
there a cheaper feel good that we can go through mine I feel good used to be
coffee I would go to the coffee house oh if I was having a Starbucks I was up you
know that book they had the book out in that latte factor
I was like wait we can’t stop the latte I budgeted Starbucks into my budget so
no we’re not stopping the lattes bad to split it down if I was feeling bad treat
if it was if it was paid a drink it was to the point where I got gold status of
Starbucks then you know you have to go enough times to get gold at Starbucks
but that was how many times I was going because it felt good and then I realized
oh we need a cheaper because I don’t need to need to spend $40 a month on
coffee and I have a coffee maker at home with coffee grounds with sugar and
creamer that I need you know I have everything at home but it just felt good
it felt good going there so that was one of those things where I realized after
spending that this this one thing need to we need to slow down cuz that can
help me how about other things as well so again between pay periods a day you
get paying until the next time you get paid monitoring write down everything
spin the same way don’t stop when you now looked at what you spent now it’s
gonna hurt your feelings so be prepared to get a realization shock because in
your mind you’re telling yourself that you don’t spend that much but when you
see that statement you’re realizing it’s a totally different ballgame of what
you’re spending so now don’t do anything don’t spend to feel better about
spending badly it’s just now a pity party moment it’s okay
have black balloons place sharda in the background
whatever you need go ahead and go through that cry it out if you have to
have the pity party and it’s okay because you know after that pity party
is over you now know your own personal game plan to be able to spend better and
budget wisely why do you think people struggle so much with saving and
budgeting do you think it’s because of the emotional connection yes don’t you
feel good we have a cute outfit on but we’ll also spend that money for a cute
outfit for an event even though we already had clothes in the closet that
still wouldn’t went with the event but it’s just it feels good it feels good to
know that I can’t spend it even when you have a savings you have to
mine you have to watch yourself even with the savings cause in your mind I
have to I have my savings in a totally different Bank because I didn’t want to
look at it because I knew once I looked at it and found out what my balance is
my mind will start racing of everything I can spend that money on some people
block it from they have a savings or checking in their same bank and they
just block seeing it and this thing and it works right but once you see it
you’re ready your mind starts wandering of what I could buy this I could buy
that and mind you the day before you didn’t think about those items it was
just because you saw that you saved so what is the goal so when you say me it’s
not the point of oh I saved no what is the purpose of it what is the goal is
the goal to an investment is the goal to make sure
it’s a part of a college fund for your child what is the assignment for that
money and you are a real estate I am how was how’s your journey been little
nerve-wracking so when I decided to do this my husband agreed with me that we
can do this I’m like okay you know the is all’s we’re in agreement I’m fine and
the first year I did absolutely nothing because I said I’m gonna do this yes and
then every self-doubt every negative thought just came through who said you
can do this why would you think you could do this who said do you know he
can have the money to do this I mean I mean anything and everything came to my
mind that was like this is not gonna work so literally I took one year just
to build myself up so that was a lot of YouTube videos a lot of books a lot of
Prayer a lot of just talking not about real estate
just getting other folks this journey I want to understand how did you go from A
to B and just meeting other real estate investors and hearing their stories and
in my mind though you can do this somehow you’re privileged somehow you
already had the money I created stories in my mind even though they may have
told me they struggled your struggle couldn’t have been that bad but that was
what it was I was creating in my head so for one year it was no this is not gonna
work then the next year was like no this can so now let me set up things I said
on my LLC I set up my logo my website so it was like okay it’s a small step to
someone else it made so much that’s easy but to me it was like I’m going in the
right direction what would be your advice for someone who was
to start investing in real estate Oh so start off do you have to have money
no do you have to have grit yes because the first thing we think about is you
have to have all this money to make it happen I’ve learned no you actually
don’t so locally we have group names cfri
and cfri is an amazing organization because they have helped me through
every step of my confusion all the way up to this point and will continue to
teach me and they have classes I mean the calendar is so full that I think
there might be one day out of every week that there’s not a class so there’s
always ways to learn be willing to learn be willing to fall be willing to fall
and be willing to fail we are so afraid of the fall and fail that we will
intertwine it as part of saying we are failures instead of just saying this
didn’t work so in fits real estate if it’s stocks if it whatever the case may
be of what you want it like to use your money for be willing to fail pick
yourself back up learn that lesson and keep moving forward that’s the biggest
thing with whatever direction you would like a person like to go to okay and
staying with the topic of investing do you think cars are a good investment
they’re just good at driving once you drive it off the lot it’s already
depreciated you can’t even return it back the same
amount of money that you purchased it for and then when you’re there so many
people like leases and again it’s a feel good it would feel good to have a new
car every two years and for those who do for those who can do it right on I’m
not one of them just not one of them because you’re restricted to a certain
amount of mileage and I like to drive so if you’re restricted to a certain amount
of mileage if you go over that then you have to pay per mile then if you are an
accident you can’t return back the vehicle
because now the car has been damaged there’s so many restrictions to that
then the new cars are really nice and dealerships will work within your
payment because they never ask you how much you want to spend on a vehicle the
first question they ask is how much is your current payment because whatever
car you decide and if it’s within range comparing to your credit score they will
match your payment but for how long does that mean you have a five-year payment a
6-year payment seven year I mean they’ll match it to whatever needs to be to have
that payment so then you’re paying seven years example for a vehicle that’s
already depreciated out in five even by IRS rules you have to depreciate a
vehicle in the five years and still have to make all the necessary repairs I like
new to me cars they’re used cars but they’re new to me and I am okay with
that because that means by the time is new to me I have saved enough money to
go ahead and pay for the vehicle and flat out it’s mine and I’m fine but many
people forget about gap insurance so yes you’re supposed to have car insurance
that’s a requirement in state of Florida but gap insurance is not a requirement
and gap insurance is if you are in a car accident and you have a payment and the
car is totaled that insurance covers all the finances that you agreed to pay plus
they may give you about a thousand dollars to be able to find
another vehicle but if you were in that same scenario without gap insurance
you’re still required to pay that loan whether the vehicle is there or not so
we’re forgetting about that part too and then your older car may have something
to your mind and you have a certain amount and you have certain gas okay so
you have the newer car did you factor in your insurance being hired did you
factor in that repairs maybe higher did you factor in that the gas mileage may
be different between what you had and what you’re going to these little things
are can be big things that either affect the way you save now or affect other
things in your livelihood because that wasn’t taken to account in the first
place so when what makes this so bad is I went to college so I have some kind of
degree and I received my first job I moved from Alabama to Indiana and I was
and I was getting paid a really good amount of money I was receiving my entry
pay was my mother’s leaving payment she retired so I was thinking I’m doing
things and was spending galore on everything I took care of the household
stuff but there was the event going on around oh I was gonna be at the event
and I was gonna have a cute outfit on there was no confusion who’s gonna see
me and then I was just spending and spending and spending and then I was
getting NSF’s and I first time first time was like what what is this and then
you know Mike come on Pam you know I could figure this out and non-sufficient
funds and every I had a non-sufficient fund the banker
charged me a non-sufficient funds fee it was to the point where I owed the bank
and then children came so then my spending was now okay let me narrow this
down but now my spending was daycare my spending was formula and I still didn’t
control my spending of going out I was just like I just have him out to feed
but that’s no problem and my NSF spending was even higher so
it got to the point when there was one time the bank wiped out half of my
paycheck because I was the NSF queen and then got to the point where I could
monitor when the bank was gonna charge me so I would try to do my best to make
sure that would cover it before they would even charge me so then I thought
I’d be outsmart the bank and do payday loans did I stop my spending habit no I
just said okay instead of paying you all this NSF fees I would now pay a payday
loan to cover what I overspent for you and then I just have one feet with a
payday loan and then so in my mind that was smart but it didn’t stop my spending
so then that’s why I said when the realization of okay I need to get down
and get serious because I’m now multiplying more children and I now need
more for them so that’s why I said with that pity party and when I realized what
I was spending on yes Shaddai played for a good couple hours because I couldn’t
believe I had set myself up for failure before I even started in that cycle of
just spending being in dead yeah it’s a vicious cycle but if you are one the
field of one of the people that get a refund from your income tax return why
not use that money to get out of debt instead of using it all frivolous things
so got to the point where I’m like okay that money was used to get myself out of
debt and did you have any tips or any advice for people when it comes to money
spending investing spending money makes you feel good it gives you a rush to
know that this is what you can do but we also have to remember that money is
specifically a tool to be used for a specific purpose not to feel good it’s
an assignment so just like as kids we had homework assignments you are going
to tell your money where it needs to go to your money is the soldier for your
household so if this if that soldiers job is supposed to pay a specific bill
and that’s what it’s supposed to do that means removing that part of the
emotional side out of it and treating it as if it’s a soldier for your army to do
your bidding now money is not all to be used for bills some of the money you’re
supposed to keep for yourself for your opportunity for that dream to fulfill
the dream that was download it to you that is that purpose for that so not
saying that everything has to go out there’s some that you have to keep so
almost like you have to keep it remember in the back of the day he’s keeping the
mattress or a big momma had in her purse but that money is for the opportunity
that will come for you for the dream that you’re supposed to fulfill but this
year my song for the year every year I have a money song and just my just my
personal anthem just to keep me keep me motivated so y’all have to look at
Boston because there’s a line on there that I think is powerful and I want to
live by and then slide is my money is so long it doesn’t know me that means it
goes out to generations that assignment is now will
pass me will pass my children and go to my grandchildren and great grand
that’s my goal my money what my money be so long it doesn’t know me is in the
songs basta with Wiley Idris Elba and oh I know there’s a girl in there I know
yeah that is the truth you can find me in my website is Ray Mays calm you can
also find me on facebook under Raimi’s properties as well as pamela ray and you
can email me at Ray Mays properties at outlook dot com and there you have it folks
thank you for tuning in I hope that now you can be able to handle your finances
I hope they know you know you’re not too scared to take risks when it comes to
investments you take the notes and start saving money get out of credit card debt
if you like this video please make sure to share the video like comment and
subscribe and keep the conversation going
I am your host Irene Sidede and thank you for joining us you

5 comments on “Conversation at Night | How To Handle Your Finances and Investments | Season 1 Episode 5”

  1. Keesha J says:

    This was such a great video!. I'm loving these conversations , always very current and relevant information.

  2. Fleurette Pruitt says:

    YES PAM!!! CONGRATS!!

  3. Daniels Kwesi says:

    My Tuskegee sister, we are so proud of you!!!😘💗💗💗

  4. Bridgette Johnson says:

    I’m so proud of this beautiful woman right here! Great advice and relevant information for the current climate. Tuskegee family ❤️💛❤️💛

  5. God's Daily Counsel TV says:

    Great and informative show ! Thank you Irene.

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