Doom (Zero Punctuation)


Doom, and I still hate the practice of sequels
with identical names so from now on I will refer to it as Dewm, was promising to be the
kind of classic-style FPS that I enjoy very much, which immediately made me suspicious.
You’re a hardcore retro shooter focusing on fast pace and mobility while fighting off
hordes of monsters? Well it won’t be truly retro unless it’s level-based with open-ended
maps and key huntin – oh, it does have that. Alright then, bet you couldn’t resist having
weapon reloading. That’s the one thing that shooter developers always put in these days
without considering how it screws up the pace of – oh there’s no reloading. Alright, what
the fuck are you up to, Bethesda? For me, this is like when an attractive young woman
comes up to me in a bar and says “You know, I am so attracted to ageing socially awkward
hairy men who play too many video games, why not buy me a drink and then perhaps a house?”
Perhaps I’ve gotten too defensive and cynical from a lifetime of disappointment. But after
playing through Dewm, I think I’ve come to realise that people who come onto me might
not necessarily be gold digging harlots. Some of them are just trying to get back at their
dad. I didn’t know what to expect of Dewm, but
I did know what I didn’t want – I didn’t want Doom 3, the game that was 90% pitch blackness
and 10% audio logs. So hopes weren’t high when Dewm opens with the protagonist having
to listen to a voice on a computer screen, until five seconds into the speech our hero
smashes the monitor like a confused gorilla, then starts shooting zombies, and never stops.
Dewm certainly seems to have a firm understanding of its audience, because while there is a
plot going on, the player character couldn’t give a half-ounce of deep fried shit. If you
want to know the plot then pause the game and read all the fluff text in the character
and location database, sipping daintily from your delicate pink teacup full of pussy juice
while the game waits patiently for you to strap your bollocks back on and get back in
the fray. Not the most organic way to bring story across but what the hell else could
they have done, have Jiminy fucking Cricket sitting on your shoulder whispering stories
in the brief pauses between the sounds of partially muscled bone being crushed between
your erect bulletproof nipples? For what it’s worth, the plot is, stock amoral corporation
sci-fi subcategory 9 – Weyland-Yutani type – has stock evil science motivation subcategory
12 – energy crisis. And they have found the foolproof and completely
unlikely to backfire solution of extracting energy from the Christian afterlife. I don’t
know why they felt they had to stick to Hell, you’d have thought a few solar panels around
God’s beard would have done the job. Sadly Not-Weyland-Yutani forgets to screen its employees
for death metal fans and someone unleashes the hordes of Hell on the Mars base. You,
meanwhile, are a mythical demon-slaying warrior who was being kept in Hell’s drunk tank after
the last time you smashed the place up, awakened to once again show the demons what for and
dress up like a Lego astronaut. Dewm’s gameplay is a surprisingly faithful update of the original
Doom’s. No, you couldn’t double jump in the originals but you could move faster than a
conservative political campaigner through a minority district so it’s still in the spirit
of things. The combat is distinctly mechanics-focused. It doesn’t make conventional sense that chainsaw
murders make the victim burst into piles of ammunition or that smashing their head in
makes them disgorge bandages and Mars bars but it does from a mechanical perspective
because the chainsaw’s what you use when you’re low on ammo and brutal murder is the game’s
intended solution for moments of high stress, as well as moments of low stress and all the
moments in between. I wasn’t sure about the whole ‘glory kill’
thing. They’re called ‘glory kills’ for one thing, which sounds like what you’d call stabbing
someone to death with your knob through a hole in a cubicle wall, but they’re actually
preanimated takedown moves, a thing that modern action games persist in having that have a
tendency to kill the pacing as assuredly as a passport checkpoint on a roller coaster.
To Dewm’s credit they are very quick, it’s more an Israeli passport checkpoint than an
American one, but considering you can Glory Kill every single fucking monster just by
getting their health low, it gets repetitive. Maybe it should have been more of a reward,
like in Resident Evil 4 how you have to kneecap dudes before you can suplex them. It stops
being memorable when I kill every single Baron of Hell by pulling their horn off and wimpily
swiping their face with the wet end like I’m giving them a Dirty Sanchez. Actually, before
I continue with my list of whinging nitpicks perhaps I should clarify that I do recommend
Dewm and had more fun with it than I’ve had with most triple-A shooters lately and that
being the case it would be remiss of me not to list what issues I did have but none of
them are deal breakers and it doesn’t actually bother me that much that most of the NPC dialogue
sounds like they’re trying to do an impression of Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. Okay? Okay. The loading times were a bit of
an arse, and in levels with jumping puzzles over instant kill death pits, they were a
lot of an arse. But they were a triple stacked arse with whipped butter on the side when
the game was treating me hammering the ledge grab button as more of a blue-sky suggestion
than a command. Relatedly, this is definitely a game that benefits from having the mouse
and keyboard rather than the controller, because the controller’s best suited to wheeling yourself
around an arena like a runaway dessert trolley on a chest high wall safari, not so much for
simultaneously jumping one way, looking in another, grabbing a ledge, shooting a dude
and tying up your shoelaces. The game’s a little bit crazy with the upgrades – there’s
character upgrades, runes that give you passive buffs, and the main currency is weapon upgrades.
They give that shit away like condoms at a planned parenthood clinic. You killed all
the monsters? Weapon upgrade. You went into a secret? Weapon upgrade. You came back out
of the secret? Weapon upgrade! Why the fuck not. Thing is, though, you can only use them
to upgrade the special alternate attacks each weapon has, a lot of which I didn’t get much
use out of when a good hard shotgun blast will answer most of a demon’s probing interview
questions. But hey, if the tokens are too easy to get
but the upgrades are kinda shitty then I guess those issues cancel each other out. And the
upgrades must have been having some effect ‘cos I thought the game was a bit easy by
the end, when it felt like it had no more tricks up its sleeve. Oh goodness I killed
the entire wave of monsters and two barons of Hell spawned, this will call upon all my
training that I had five minutes ago the last time this happened. The monsters never took
me by surprise, the way they’d always spawn in with a red glowy effect, a shower of confetti
and an English butler reading their names out loud. I don’t want the Doom 3 thing where
you pick up a small health pack and six hidden doors fly open to reveal Hell’s entire buggery
squadron, but there’s got to be a middleground. Oh yeah, and the grenades feel a bit wimpy.
I throw it, there’s a little PHUT, and then all the zombies around it fall apart with
embarrassment. I think that’s it. As I say, my problems are mere flicked bogeys sticking
to the edges of a perfectly solid core. Maybe it’s rather blatantly pandering to my generation
of gamers, but this is the good kind of pander. The kind that gets all the bamboo and has
sex once in a while. You’d think Painkiller had stopped being a
thing to hear the way people go on about this game

100 comments on “Doom (Zero Punctuation)”

  1. Jmcgee1125 says:

    The glory kills are good again from a mechanics point. They're designed to pull you into the fray and reward you with bonus health. It keeps the fast pace going.

  2. The Fourth Dimensional Gamer gaming says:

    First video I watched of yours. Not gonna be the last

  3. Penny Lane says:

    Let me just say that if an attractive young woman needs my help to get back at her dad, that's good enough for me.

  4. the true shaggy says:

    Doom slayer yahtzee
    Demons bad game dev

  5. Κ ο μ ν η ν ό ς says:

    I'm surprised Yahtzee was down on the alternate firing modes for the weapons. I got a lot of mileage out of those, to the point that the starting shotgun became a designated grenade launcher. Some are more useful than others, but they generally added some spice to the normal gameplay.

  6. rbd11235 says:

    There is technically weapon reloading in Doom. But only with the Super Shotgun once you have the final upgrade.

  7. Adam Mitchell says:

    1:15 What I love most about Doom Guy.

  8. Ethousios Music says:

    Just stop using so many similes
    It’s really annoying

  9. DOOM SLAYER says:

    Hey why does everyone use that picture for thumbnail .. At least tell me first

  10. mmm l says:

    W T F 😑

  11. NoSnoop says:

    check out my newest vid btw not a bot

  12. josh fritz says:

    Doomguy fucking hates demons.

  13. Senor Corbuiser says:

    Its refreshing to find you actually can like a game every once and a while. Keep up the good work cunt.

  14. Adam Byrne says:

    Did you just say that glory kills get old? They are a relief when you are about to die, but you old do it when you want or need to.

  15. JavaBasher says:

    if only they used dismemberment like killing floor 2

  16. Geovonnie T. Wright says:

    A.K.A Legend of Zelda on Mars

  17. CitrusRepublic says:

    doom is fun

  18. Quinton Craig says:

    1:24
    Only a real man would have the balls to do that publicly.

  19. B Ledger says:

    It ends with a joke that only works if you have an Aussie or British accent.

  20. Daedalus says:

    "Ahem.. May I present Lord Roger Cacodemon and Lady Cacodemon."

  21. Duy Linh Chu Ha says:

    I love that reference to the first meeting between him and his now wife.

  22. Damien Tan says:

    When you play doom for the first time you come in thinking what kind of game is this if you haven’t researched or heard anything about is, but you come out of doom thinking about when the next demon invasion is coming to earth since you basically are certified to be a demon slayer. But not the doom slayer nope that job is for doom guy

  23. Wyzax76 says:

    Great review, man. It had me in stitches.

  24. GalaXxX says:

    personally i had much more fun with controller it trully gets you into the game also its much harder which is what are you searching in this game

  25. Jaak1e says:

    this will be the only time i like the dislike button

  26. Tyler Francis says:

    There’s 666 dislikes though…😂😂

  27. jekblom123 says:

    666 dislikes.

    Satan, just be cool… for once?

  28. BlueBasNeue Tube says:

    Good thing everyone caught onto the joke of 666 dislikes

  29. Lucas Bitencourt says:

    T o o f u c k i n g f a s t

  30. Lubble-1397 says:

    Thought the game was a bit easy by the end? Hm guessing he was playing on easy mode

  31. Thej Yhome says:

    If it's any comfort, Bethesda did shit on Doom, all creds go to ID

  32. Klässic says:

    looking at a different part of a demon will play a different animation for the glory kill

  33. Jacob Lyon says:

    Much as I agree that drawing energy from Hell is a bad idea, to be fair, drawing on Heaven probably would've invoked a Tower of Babel kind of response. If this universe's God's designs on Hell is anything to go by, anyway.

  34. Doapsique Gaming says:

    Did he just say "pussy juice". Yes!

  35. Maurice Pete says:

    I have never played a doom game before, and when I picked this up I lost 4 hours of my life in what felt like a second. I wish I got this when it first came out.

  36. Andrew Hays says:

    i love you review… and this one tickled me because i completely agree. best game i have played in ages.

  37. MannyJazzcats says:

    Someone please put an under barrel haddock launcher in a game

  38. Muff says:

    Is called "Zero Punctuation!", has an exclamation Mark besides it.

  39. guguigugu says:

    Florida man invades hell

  40. Tony X 2 says:

    This game had me thinking… "If Duke Nukem were to attempt another comeback, it should should be something like this!"

  41. Scare Crow says:

    "Extracting energy from the Christian afterlife."

    Fucking gold

  42. eLIPHAS3333 says:

    The one thing Yahtzee didn't touch on was how incredibly awesome and fitting the music in the game is.

  43. BT says:

    So, here's Doom's story in abridged form:
    Demons over there, kill they ass.

  44. SkyHighGam3r says:

    Cocking a shotgun after blowing someone's brains across the wall is damn near as satisfying as laying the next round of buckshot into his friends chest cavity. The lack of reloading was 'not' a good thing. In fact it's absence was so felt it was like masturbating and stopping right before climax.

  45. gamzee makara says:

    2:10 oh hey sir hammerlock didn't see you there

  46. Paul tar says:

    Well put, specifically the part about RE4

  47. Serps says:

    That's my kind of panda

  48. smurffi says:

    He talked so fast that i don't know did he liked it or not

    Still great video tho…

  49. Stephen Burks says:

    When a person finds a game fun but a little easy for them, why do they blame it on design instead of raising the in game difficulty. Rarely does one hear a person playing on nightmare difficulty and complaining about the eases which they are progressing.

  50. Orion Wilson says:

    I'm not sure what just happened, but I think I like it.

  51. Nikodem Śliwka says:

    Filthy casual.

    xD

  52. Techni Myoko says:

    The conservative through a minority district strikes me as a hypocritical joke considering people credit Hillary with losing cause she ignored the mostly-white districts

  53. Demon Intellect says:

    'Alright what are you up to Bethesda?' Was an extremely prophetic statement considering fallout 76…

  54. Whiskey Sloth says:

    Good video. But dont try to say its too easy… Git gud scrub and crank up the difficulty. Wuss

  55. Whiskey Sloth says:

    Also doom 3 was fucking awesome. Fight me….. Or maybe your just too young to remeber how good it was when it was new

  56. Larry Miner says:

    Have you seen Doom eternal and what are your thoughts of it you said everything he may also have to fight heaven

  57. texasranger9 says:

    1:56 looks like they are going there in Doom Eternal

  58. zomdiehunter 115 says:

    E.
    T
    E
    R
    N
    A
    L

  59. the BOME says:

    you didnt play it on nightmare did you

  60. Fenrir Wulfheart says:

    For me when fighting Barons I usually just stab them with the horn

  61. The RedNeckEngineNerd says:

    5:02 I mean thats kinda how a fragmentation gernade works, if you want High Explosive or incendiary ask for that.. Frags don't have a lot explosive but the have the right amount to propel the shell at maximum velocity.

    I get it its no grand explosion just ask for what you want by name.

  62. SonicBoom AXA says:

    Well not EXACTLY no reloading, the super shotgun does that …

  63. Dante Mercer says:

    Did you literally ONLY compliment this game?

  64. IMMentat says:

    You get locked in rooms at least twice with guns forced away while exposition is narrated at you.

  65. soulayman says:

    are you on cocaïne ?

  66. Unlimited Power says:

    I dont like this game. I love its attitude and environments but the shooting to me is unsatisfactory. Am i alone here?

  67. Frostdraken 5 says:

    It's not a sequel

  68. xyz39808comments says:

    PHUT

  69. Angel Smith says:

    Never seen him so erect

  70. Corbano64 says:

    Jesus dude chill

  71. David Davidson says:

    I actually really liked the glory kills. My personal favorite was the imp head-splitting you could do while you have the Berserk powerup.

  72. Apex Gamer96 says:

    The most british game review ever

  73. Nicholas LaRosa says:

    I think the DOOM Slayer terrorizing Hell for eons could be a way could to explain all the DOOM 1 and 2 mods.

  74. Gavin Dotten says:

    Called demons zombies
    TRIGGERED NOISE INTENSIFIES!!!!

  75. Vert343 says:

    I'm going to clear it up because it urks me.
    DOOM/DEWM is NOT A Bethesda title, its PUBLISHED by Bethesda. Zenimax Owns Bethesda. ZENIMAX Owns ID Software. ID Software Makes DOOM. Bethesda is just the publisher, like EA was to Titanfall 2.

  76. Tracer Main says:

    The armor he wears absorbs Argent energy and demons have that so it makes sense when u glory kill a demon and get hp

  77. Adrinator1 says:

    Sounds funny when you set the speed to 1.75

  78. Aaron, The says:

    The loadtimes were TERRIBLE on ps4. On PC, my load times are 5 – 10 seconds, certainly better than the 30 – 50 seconds on console

  79. I want the world to burn. says:

    HATS

  80. Noobmaster 420 says:

    Dooms glory kills keeps you aggressive and close to the enemy instead of backing up and shooting from afar. Pure genius

  81. Noobmaster 420 says:

    The commentary is so British

  82. Chronos says:

    i do agree reloading leves you open to attack

  83. yung cash register says:

    Political jokes never age well

  84. Man Of Steel says:

    This "Dume" sounds great. I should try it some time.

  85. Joshua Terry says:

    Beat saber is VR's portal

  86. Kain Of Legends says:

    Just cause 3

  87. theweddingsinger1970 says:

    This is a top ZP from yahtzee, plenty of solid laughs and the doom 3 reference just kills me.

  88. 심심한_페퍼_게임 채널 says:

    great, shit are getting relatably more fantastic

  89. NitroDragon911 says:

    Have never been so entertained on one of your videos thank you

  90. Dominant Wolf says:

    The glory kills were dependent on the angle of attack and demon, with each demon having like 12 unique animations

  91. Voltaic Fire says:

    I liked Doom 3 (I enjoy lore and world building, fuck you) but I loved Doom 2016.

  92. Voltaic Fire says:

    Ah 2016, when conservatives were supposedly the horrible racists.

  93. Thej Yhome says:

    I have watched three videos of yours so far: Minecraft, Subnautica and this, all by sheer coincidence. I feel like I'm not getting the real ZeroPunctuation Experience.

  94. chidori chiodos says:

    Barely glossed over what was terrible about Doom. The originals were actually scary. No, not doom 3. Doom 1 and 2 actually had me terrified of what could be in this next room with its 8 bit graphics. Every single time I'm about to fight anything in doom the music starts and there yeh go. You kill them all and yeah. Go to the next area. Music starts. Rinse and repeat. I have beat the first 2 dooms over a dozen times each at least but I couldn't even finish new Doom. Was disappointing. I was incredibly excited. Oh well.

  95. ZanaLyrander says:

    I remember being initially reluctant to buy this game because I’d never played any of the classic Doom games, and hate horror games, so I was afraid this was going to be another Doom 3. But then after playing it, I realized that this is a horror game, but played from the perspective of the monster. Doomguy is the thing the demons have nightmares about.

  96. Seph Reed says:

    I have one gripe with this game which is that some maps have one way doors, which make it so you can't go back for secrets. Often, they're totally not obvious too. DOOM II hos almost nothing like this, and you can always load an old save. It's one of the main things that makes me feel like, while it is a very good game mechanically, they weren't totally able to get the level design up to snuff.

  97. Zunamie says:

    Youtube…why was this in my feed when it's 3 years old.

  98. Niall is Awesome says:

    I just like the way he says DEUM

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