For Richer, For Poorer: The Wedding Tax


Ahem… Well as father of the bride I’d like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to the light of my life, my
daughter Leanne. And the mongrel who stole her away from me
Dad! Oh It has been a beautiful day. And it is just one day, isn’t it. Half a year’s salary spent on ah…
one day. Get to the point Dad
Well as I always say, the average wedding in Australia costs around forty to fifty grand. He does say it a lot. And each of you is costing me the supremely
average figure of $135 a head. And I don’t even know anyone on Table 22! It probably would’ve cost less if we’d
just said is was a birthday party! Come on Dad-
It’s true, love. Choice did a shadow shop, ând half of the
venues jacked up the price for a wedding, compared to a party with exactly the same requirements! Maybe cos weddings are a nightmare. What is this?! Now I have to change my pocket square! Now there’s very important quote about a marriage:
the quote from the venue. Check what’s included. The base price might be within your budget,
but then they get you with the extras. Table runners. A signature cocktail Those chair covers with the bow on them! I love ya darlin, but what did we need chair
covers for? We know you’re a chair mate! You’re not foolin’ anyone! Enough, Gerald! Yes righto. Where was I? Oh yes When I brought my darling Leanne home from hospital I distinctly remember the way she would… … And that’s why I always carry a sponge. Now, where was I? The photographer! You’re bloody expensive too! Nearly three grand on average. Read through your photography contract carefully! Make sure it says what’s included in the
package and when you’ll receive your photos. Tracy and Stu have been waiting over 18 months
for their wedding photos. And they’re already getting a divorce! Sheryl! Make sure the contract is clear on who
owns the copyright to your wedding photos – in case you want to upload them to Facebook,
or make copies, or submit them to a wedding magazine. Check if it says the photographer can use
your photos in their marketing. If you don’t want that, make that’s in
written in. And don’t pay the full amount before your
big day. You’re in a much better position if part of
the fee is only payable when you’ve got photos you’re happy with. Scuse me, this is my wedding speech, bit rude! Dad, we want you to shut-
You wanna really get screwed? Get a hire car! Hire car companies usually charge an hourly
rate with no minimum – but Choice found that for a wedding, suddenly there’s a minimum 3 hour callout You having fun over there mate?! Have another dessert! They’ll sting you on everything! The flowers, the DJ, the catering; the important
thing is to shop around. As Leanne certainly did before she settled
on Dwayne. Dad! Err, well I do want this to be under an hour, so allow me to just echo the sentiments of Choice magazine, who said that if you don’t want a traditional wedding cake, you can save money by letting the bakery think it’s for something else. Daddy, please tell me you didn’t- Voila! Ladies and gentlemen… The bride and groom. To the bride and groom. That was beautiful, Gerald. Ugh, straight weddings.

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