Keeping Hope Alive
[snort] [snoring] (off-screen): AHEM! Thought Slime: *grumbles groggily* [continued snoring] (off-screen): ACTION! Thought Slime: [slurring] Yeah… [tap] Hi… I’m Brain Slime from YouTube.com/BrainSlime [sic] I was just thinking about how we’re all gonna die! And it’s gonna suck for the entire time until we do… Let’s talk about that today! [Upbeat music] [Record scratching] (secret slime transition noises) In October, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, or IPCC released a report detailing just how incredibly fucked we may be. It’s 700 pages of Boring Science Words, so let me sum it up for you: We have about 10 to 12 years to limit global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius, or shit is about to get really bad Everything from global famines, to mass flooding And an unprecedented extinction event -BEYOND the one that humanity has already been causing for the past 200 years- is on the table Unless we can get our runaway carbon emissions sorted out before the clock strikes midnight We don’t have to just *reduce* our carbon dioxide emissions – and that’d be hard enough!… In a world so horny for coal power We have to get to a NET *NEGATIVE* EMISSION! That means we have to start pulling carbon dioxide OUT of the atmosphere. And we need to pull a whole hell of a lot of it: Worst case scenario? We have to pull about 1,000 GIGATONS …out of the atmosphere… by 2100… That’s two *quadrillion* pounds To put that in perspective, That’s roughly the weight of 5 million blue whales worth of carbon dioxide. Incidentally, there are about 12,000 blue whales on Earth at best right now – in case you were wondering – how blue whales were doin’… Pouring this one out for all the blue whales who couldn’t make it here today. …Actually fuck the whales. If we want to keep global warming to under 1.5 degrees Celsius That means we’re going to require a mass mobilization about equivalent to WWII. So you’ll excuse me if I don’t fancy our odds. But if we just focused on that. If that was the only thing we had to do – maybe we could pull it off… There’s so many things we have to do There’s so many problems in the world that are getting worse and should have been solved a long time ago. I know I talk about this a lot. But have you noticed that fascism is back? And in a big way? And not the wink-wink, nudge-nudge “Traditional fascism” you might be used to, but full-blown jackbooted Nazi style fascism! Hey, did you notice that concurrent with the rise in fascism – Far-right nationalist monster people have started being elected to major liberal democracies? There’s also a huge upswing in fringe right wing political violence right now! They’re getting bolder and they’re getting scarier oh, and because I know you’re you’re saying “both sides do it” right now: According to the Washington Post, “of the 263 incidents of domestic terrorism [in the United States] between 2010 and the end of 2017 a third of them – 92 — were committed by right-wing attackers.” More than supposed left wing terrorism, and more than jihadi terrorism – – in fact, more than both of them combined. But it’s not just terrorists getting a slice of the action! The state is also escalating violence against minorities and immigrants… Which is saying something, because the previous level of violence was already pretty damn horrifying. Hey, did you know that in my country, the supposed Liberal Paradise of Canada, We’ve been practicing the forced sterilization of indigenous women as recently as last year? That’s genocide, no matter how you slice it. We’re committing a genocide right here, and right now. I mean, I wasn’t naive enough to think that Canada’s treatment of its indigenous population wasn’t brutal and cruel. I knew we were committing a cultural genocide. I guess I thought that the days of outright exterminationism were behind us But… I guess I only thought that because I didn’t know that they never really stopped… I should’ve known… But I just wasn’t listening. 10% of the world’s population control 50% of the world’s wealth, and that problem is getting worse, as more and more of the world’s money goes to a handful of rich parasites The rest of us are working longer hours and making less money! Pair that with an increasingly automated workforce taking away more and more of the menial jobs that used to make up huge swaths of the job market- and it’s not lookin’ sO GOOod!! Here in Canada about 30% of adults have NOTHING saved for retirement, And in the United States? That number jumps to about 50%. An increasing number of people are working part-time or contract work meaning they’re not paying into social insurance programs and don’t have pensions or medical benefits. Now consider that we have an aging population; and they’re gonna need to retire at some point, and shit is starting to look pretty bleak. *crunches on pills* Our government and politicians aren’t doing anything to take the pressure off; in the United States, consumer debt is Skyrocketing, and medical expenses are the #1 contributing factor to bankruptcy So how do their politicians respond? Well, either they’re outright monsters, desperately clawing back whatever meager gains people have made in the past ten years, or, theyre useless ding-dongs! Trying to stem the popular demand for Medicare For All, with vague platitudes… “…We were too cautious. We were too namby-pamby. This is sharp! Bold!…” Oh, thank god. Oh, thank god Chuck. I am so glad to hear that. You’ve been too “namby-pamby”? I mean that’s a pretty gross way to put that but I’m totally on board with the sentiment. So let’s hear your Bold, Decisive plan! “…Well Democrats unify behind single-payer health care-” “Well- our economic agenda – we’ve talked so much about health care, that we are not going to address that in this agenda, w-” Don’t worry Americans! …You’re saved. *low reverberations* Okay, so the government isn’t helping. But- -what about the Free Market I’ve heard so much about? I mean not with climate change, obviously. Did you know that 63% of the human caused climate change is the result of the carbon emissions from just 90 companies? *nervously* Cool, cool! Coolcoolcool. Cool… Yeah. All right So, cool, very good! And they’re not gonna help with consumer debt either, they’re just gonna take advantage of our desperation to push more and more predatory lending on us You know, when they’re not just actively lying to the consumers face to defraud them and… get away with it… Because despite what you may have been told about the market setting us free, they seem to be pretty comfortable selling us out to authoritarians when it helps them make a quick buck. Look how quickly major publications started rehabilitating fascism the very second they knew there was a market for it! Which shouldn’t be all that surprising I guess, because the far-right’s entire purpose is to shield capital from the revenge of the exploited… Big Business won’t save us. They -can’t- save us! They’re what we need saving -FROM-! They’re exploiting us, to death! That is their prerogative. The powerful have never cared about the powerless because I mean, why would they? They don’t have to listen to powerless people, because what are powerless people gonna do about it? But you’d think that the powerless people would at least be pissed off about it. You’d think we could all commiserate maybe try to think of some way to make our lives a little easier by working together… … Instead, we see the powerless staking their entire identities on worshipping the powerful! Studying and mythologizing them as Superhuman Pillars of Accomplishment to be imitated and obeyed, and I don’t like it, but I get why – they’re what? Six major media conglomerates? They’re all run by rich old men who have a vested interest in making sure the only perspectives you’re able to consider are the ones that make sure their wealth and power are Unchallengable. And aside from the media, the only other formal source of supposedly definitive information that most people get in their entire lives are from schools. Schools regulated by the state, which will not allow the plastic brains of kiddos to receive anything they consider subversive, which kinda sucks! Because they consider things like *safe sex* subversive. They consider things like… Anything from history that isn’t from the perspective of a white person… Subversive. Academia isn’t educating you to make you more “enriched” as a person, or to be more “productive”. You’re educated to be obedient, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that most people are unreasonably deferential to power; most people think of the rich and powerful as their superiors – a higher tier of human being – but they’re not. They’re a nepotistic death cult of buffoons, sycophants and psychopaths. So, to sum up… The world has zillions of intractable problems some of which are genuine existential threats to the human race, and nobody with any power in society is interested in doing anything about it because they all benefit from it. And I think the worst part is that we could fix these problems. I mean, there’s so many more of us than there are of them. We outnumber them by like 99 to 1?? But we just don’t… I don’t know if we’re too scared? or- -we just don’t care? But- – we’re letting ’em win. They’ve already won. ‘fights over. Nothin’ left to do but enjoy our slow slide into oblivion…. Cheers. *thonk* Hello friends, don’t be glum! We’re fine. We’re fine!! – probably – Look, I don’t want to downplay the problems that we’re facing; they’re huge, and they’re severe, but but we can beat them. I think… I don’t know, maybe we can’t, but we have to try! Cuz’ if we don’t try we’re just giving them what they want; they want us scared and they want us beaten down. The thing is: it’s true that nobody is coming to save us but in a way that’s kind of a good thing. We have to save ourselves. If someone else came along and fixed our problems for us. We’d be beholden to them. Instead we’re forced by these horrible circumstances to create the world that -we want- to live in, not the middle ground that some bureaucrat could offer us, And as bad as things are there, are rays of hope all around us: Look at the brave work of indigenous water protectors standing tall against monolithic corporate interests in the violence of the state. And just as the far-right is on the rise, So too does the far-left rise to meet it, for every act of state terrorism or fascist, thuggery we see huge outpourings of mutual aid and community defense, not only from our comrades but from all sorts of people. People who just want to help. People are finally ready to start taking these problems seriously! Even the bad guys – the Nationalists – the fash-for-brains – They believe that horseshit because they looked at the system as it was and realized it wasn’t doing anything for them, it was offering them nothing but more grinding poverty and less job security. Probably wasn’t hard for people to convince them of some dumb scapegoat like “it’s the immigrants” or the Jews or whatever. But the good news is that that means it’s going to be easier to push them in the right direction too, which, confusingly, in this analogy is the Left Direction As old prejudices die away, people are more willing to consider radical solutions. What once seemed like a lonesome fantasy is quickly developing into the Orthodox position. Even moderate liberals have taken note of the sea change – – they’ve started calling themselves “socialist” to court the growing leftist base, and you can expect that to continue, because if there’s one upside to continuous mismanagement by authority figures it’s that it tends to erode people’s confidence in authority. And, My Friends, we have entered into an unprecedented age of mismanagement! The whole world is being taken over by grifters and bunglers, and you don’t have to work very hard to convince people that a doofus like THIS… isn’t qualified to be in charge of a Burger King, let alone an entire country! There’s a big secret that powerful people don’t want you to know… The secret is this: Everywhere oppression has existed, so too has resistance. No group of oppressed people has ever just laid down and taken it, they have always fought back because that’s -who we are- as a species; You and I are not going to dishonor that human legacy by laying down and dying now… We’ve got a world to save! So it’s time to roll up our sleeves and just get it done already! And sure, it’s gonna be hard but that’s never stopped us as a species before. We do amazing things all the dang time! We did surgery on a grape… We can do anything… Now is the time to make a stand, to stand up against the forces of- Oh! Hold on… Yeah, I’m getting a note in this earpiece that I’ve been wearing the whole time, uh… It looks like my legal counsel wants me to read a message *deadpan voice*: Thought Slime is a satirical YouTube channel in which the host portrays a leftist radical. Anything he says which could be interpreted as seditious is to be recognized under Articles 69 to 420 of the YouTube Doofus Protection Act as, legally speaking – Just a prank bro. All right. Now that we got that nerd shit out of the way, *demonic voice*: LETS REVOLT! [Air horn noises] You might feel like we’re not ready for freedom yet, and you’re right, we’re not! But we’re never going to be ready until we *are* free. So that means we have to act before we’re ready and that’s scary, it’s scary because we could fuck all of this up, and… The stakes are pretty high. But it’s so much more dangerous to do nothing! And, for the record I’m not saying that we have to storm the Bastille And, and – guillotine Mark Zuckerberg, or – throw Molotov cocktails at police cars. There’s so many ways to resist and fight back. You can agitate in your workplace, You can wheat-paste agitprop in your neighborhood! You can start a food-serve! You can start a squat. You can show up with 200 of your buddies when Nazis are marching through town and hassle them! Don’t just cast a ballot every four years! Stand up right now and disrupt! For the record if it sounds like I’m lecturing you I’m including myself in this by the way I need to do a lot more. I’m conscious of that, and I will- mark my words on that. And if enough of us stand together and fight back we’ll turn the tides. Because not one of us has the power to save the world alone, but all of us together! All of us together *do*. But hey, maybe you feel like the world is still doomed. Maybe you feel like there’s just nothing we can do about it. You still feel hopeless. That’s fair enough! Can’t say I blame you on that one. But… We can’t really afford to be hopeless right now. So, if you don’t have room in your heart for hope… Then try spite! The ghouls, who put us in this situation, didn’t do it because they needed to. They didn’t even do it for luxury, because let’s be honest… They could live luxuriously on one 1000th of the wealth that they have accrued… They did it just to prove that they could. And even though they might have destroyed the planet, they’re going to live the rest of their lives in the greatest luxury, in the greatest comfort that any human being has ever experienced. So I ask you, does that sound fair? Does that sound like justice? So, if you don’t believe that standing up and fighting has the capability to make your life any better Consider that it might make theirs a little bit worse. Because every time we stand up and fight back, every time we flex the collective muscle of the working class, some rich asshole has a very bad day. Maybe we won’t save the world Maybe all we’ll accomplish is that we’ll piss off a few oligarchs on our way towards extinction, but let’s do it anyway; let’s do it just to prove that we can. This video has already been a little bit corny, But I want to get even cornier and end on an excerpt from a poem: This is from Percy Brice Shelley’s The Mask of Anarchy: “And these words shall then become like oppression’s thundered doom Ringing through each heart and brain heard again again again Rise like lions after slumber in unvanquishable number Shake your chains to earth like dew, which in sleep had fallen on you Ye are many. They are few.” I was worried that that ending would sound a little scary and that’s why I put on this bowtie in case you were curious because… I figured “Nobody’s gonna be scared of someone in a bowtie”! Good night!! If you don’t know where to start, check out earth-strike.com and get access to a huge community of Left-O’s and Greenoids! Organizing a massive international campaign to end climate change once and for all! And it needs your help! Hello, it’s me, Thought Slime, from patreon.com/thoughtslime. thank you for the money I got on patreon. I used it to- um pay rent, so that’s good for me. It’s good. I have a place I’m gonna live- -for a month and um Hey, why don’t you click the like… button Hey, th- um… Why don’t you click the like button and the subscribe button and the Bell! I gotta ask… I gotta ask you to do it If I don’t ask YouTube gets really mad at me. You guys have gotta hit the subscribe button and the like button and the stupid Bell YouTube has made it very clear to me that if more people don’t hit those buttons. I’m cancelled so…. Please. I- I need this. Thank you for watching Video! Here is more Video! it is in here! Click on more video to watch more video. Goodbye!