On The Spot: Ep. 42 – Don’t Touch the Hole | Rooster Teeth


yeah my first game tonight just met together
on the set of a series of holiday-themed pornos she was a director and he was the lead
male for such classic as deck the balls rudolph the red cock
drained and of course my favorite Santa Claus is coming all over town please welcome Barbara don’t go to my
very special guest Tom Booker my second team has actually worked the past three
years as a couple of Santa’s little helpers for malls around town but
unfortunate had resigned this year after showing up to work drunk and spending
their entire ship is hitting on mom’s singing naughty christmas carols and
seeing how many candy canes are you sticking their bodies please welcome to All Hands mouths I’m
your host Jon writer working on the spot you know you wrote the song you know who
wrote the jokes earlier with them I did I wrote this it’s funny you say
now you say the jokes about the porn and I like envisioned as you hunkered over a
desk writing those jokes that’s what happens that’s what I had to do I mean I
had to you know sit there and type out these these world-class introductions
you did a really generally Tom . Tom . Tom Tom knows how to play the game up I working on it good yes the audience is
happy everyone’s good I’m sure they’re clapping at home yeah
of course everyone’s at home fucking walking on the spot I want to say a special thank you for
time for joining us a sister went to keep totally yeah now Tom shutter:100 this episode is
brought to you by foot cardigan and Credit Karma dude they are thank you very much for
sponsoring the show I hope you your sponsors again we’re
gonna go and have a Joel so we’re sponsored by credit card –
responsible right it’s like NASCAR’s are you actually you’re supposed to come on
with patches with credit card suits yeah jumps and then had a helmet
restraining things you you probably talked about criticism or pretty well
right I can I don’t get let’s not do it let’s
talk about credit school or not team names woe delay in a bar in town which
do you know we are team don’t touch team too hot don’t touch don’t tell ya yeah that’s a rule in some places hand
right here yeah all right I got no choice really talk to
them send them some nice regards or some horrible you know sudo racist stuff you can do that via
Twitter hey don’t don’t don’t actually I the jokes are here the first right out
with Adam in Joel’s team name is our team name is adam has a hole in the
armpit of his shirt and he doesn’t want to show people I’m not sure that’s the
hashtag table but if you want to you can try what is that a briefing at 2200 a
hashtag hole and hashtag hashtag a whole traveling team whole team whole wormhole
or feeling UK pound hole I like that we have don’t touch
highlight and whole team whole are our team names so don’t touch the team whole
you guys are fighting for this the coveted golden Gus who is still gold
in certain crevices and parts what we have been able to touch him very well just like the real guests yep if you if
you look under the trophy under the base you can tell what sex the trophy use
still undecided so that’s it for all of our little
business we can actually move on to a game now I think so let’s go to our first game which is
think about it great about the game for each team will be given a question
they’re gonna ask the question back and forth one word at a time of six of the
clock to do this the twist is any time they hear the bell
the other teams to interject with the word and they have to continue to answer
the question use the other teams word makes sense everybody Joel team whole you’re not up is ready
I’m not right now they’re not again notice how we’re ready don’t you start
us off with find out what your question is it weird being uh celebrate Hanukkah all right how to celebrate Hanukkah we
have a resident expert Tom I was gonna say I’m his friends actually he was
faster only have of Hanukkah hey hey and so will have six o’clock
answer one word at a time we’re going to start off with our expert Tom ready set go Jews will always celebrate
Hanukkah because they smoke and wait this is what’s the worry muck smoke it’s
smelling and sucking at the same time and they will always have candles in
their holes so we help them celebrate Hanukkah by holding do you say holding
holding holding its the verb using a whole the cookie and read against in
prison they call it suitcases yes so they smuggle in there going I guess
so now got a happy holiday time you gotta
go I don’t know no no no wow we’re gonna suck after that
and I just stopped the show for a second yeah because i just made 10,000 steps
per se but the pics yeah and so I actually address the entire around every
time you said a word you in holy cow he said the head with your
wrist every single time you were excited about every word you said you were gonna
step never heard that word before holding polling oh yeah when your whole
something yeah you know you got a hole in the wall so well like heroin this your car keys you know you don’t
have pockets can put it somewhere got one right so we’re going to get around
to get that we don’t need more into examples were good tom Jews were always celebrate Hanukkah
because they smuck and then they will always have candles
in their holes so we help them celebrate Hanukkah by holding so beautiful yeah 80
degrees at night is that it’s axiomatic it was now we are to hear that we it’s ok because i was involved are you
available right now you just love us how come every one of
these winds up in a run on sentence can they don’t always a first time for
everything i watch the fucking show to everyone like going to run on said
everything I have to be later goddamn games every fucking time you’re on the
show and so I don’t know you don’t know and no they do punctuation every once in
a while so if you’d like to make it clear you out punctuation you gotta do that with the structure of
your of your answer ok don’t be embarrassed ok I’m you can anybody about
the first okay are you have you the honor are we done time to what’s their
questions you’re just a question why is John the host nope how to Santa get to all the houses in
one night out of Santa start you will start here instead I’m take it allowed
to say like get how to Santa get to all the houses in 19 by anytime one night trying to take out
generalizing your one word john starts to yell . i would have the
punctuation and then he joins maybe like seven makes sense let’s let’s do this ok so we’re going to
explain okay to get to all the houses whenever
you’re ready yeah ok first Santa buys guns with
credit card one of our financing then he eat a horse I think it is literally the worst anyone
has ever done everything but there’s no answers there we didn’t answer the
question in any way whatsoever hey John right yeah and as he’s fucking
me left with the Navy is good we got him out of the picture you know it has it as
a guy that’s been teaching and proud for ages normally I have something really
positive to say you guys stop that was first night wait
there I’m second city trained to provide you with I don’t think this is not where
positivity lives I feel like we’re being judged also BRB
judge on the fucking Internet you’re being judged Santa did come in there at one point
with gun i tried to buy said Santa you happy with the function might work they
didn’t know you the way I was going with the sentence with center was gonna get
the guns and then go hold like Rob everybody don’t like giving your house
and that’s it and he goes in the houses that’s it that’s why doesn’t one night
it didn’t happen is that it was really attracted to shut up john starts yelling at that rate any
joints Navy that maybe first standardized guns frustrated side with
financing let me hold her alcohol happy horse out the air horn . actually
the better angels was pretty good which holiday did we ruin more the hip
it I’m gonna give points to team don’t touch it really makes sense if you think
about it really don’t clap for us Adam not even has the most like nervous
laugh like smile of like trying to really support her boyfriend who’s
failing miserably and she actually likes very we have this thank you for the audience all right so
I keep worrying that I’m gonna just eclipse Barbara it looks like it’s well I don’t
go back to the wide party how do you mark alright so before we get two points i
want to say thanks to foot cardigan for sponsoring this episode of on the spot a
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you are every month foot cardigan com put in on the spot check out thanks once again give me my with my
girl back make a profit at the end of the address
i want to celebrate whoo aah that’s one of the points are at the end of that
round don’t you all go ahead damn it you guys suck I’m so glad I’m
not you right now really ties here to win this year I’m going to bring it what
it what do I get when I win um nothing I don’t think yeah well when
you get that you get guys you know I was gonna run yes I want Gus want this yeah don’t we
all know I so let’s move on to our saying Tom shut up that’s pretty much our second game at
which is kind of mystics ok he was game rural and urban
dictionary com we found words or phrases we’re going to give each team a word or
phrase and common definitions for each team gets to opportunity , definition to
get right to get points to get wrong the other team gets one joint opportunity
with the rebuttal definition if they get it right they get points if nobody gets
it right I give points to the audience yeah and their minds just for being so
goddamn good look make sure they’re looking at it they
have a dog and they have a daughter so let’s go well don’t touch starts off
last round let’s go to team whole first word angels touch what could be an Angels try to do an
angel touched on George’s that would be Adam Adam Adam gave John angels touch Joel my friend BFF you thinking or no
angels angels touch i think adam has a good answer i think you’re very sobering
up over so the slang for angels angels top angels angels touch angels touch ok and angels and angels touch is is God
just have no idea what names such as a dividend JAL’s so just yeah yeah I’m all
angels touches Adam no touch so angel an angel you know you’re thinking the the
like heavenly angels it’s actually a guy named angel uh-huh and loan him money and I don’t
pull into that far as i’ve gotten with you don’t pay him back his money and
then he gets angry and he touches you bye-bye having inappropriate we’re doing
real good sex with you that’s it that’s all i got was
definition wasn’t as angels touch that was our collaborative effort that was a
collaborative effort so you’re supposed to come up with the definition each
person angels touch this is really throwing me throwing me you can touch ok that’s when you
accidentally ok you know when you’re pooping yes and
then like you yet that you have the toilet paper right and in the toilet
paper you do you put the toilet paper and the place where it’s supposed to go but accidentally your finger slipped
through the toilet paper and it goes up your butt and then there’s an angel for
some reason that’s our fucking answer . so angels
tied to either when hey I gotta know that dark comes and has
inappropriate sex with you for not paying back your loans or when you
accidentally touched have your baby nurse with your finger when you’re
wiping your ass don’t think he said time and then
there’s somehow an angel don’t forget that part and then there’s somehow an
angel it with you in the bathroom while you’re shitting they always come to you when you’re
taking a crap right it’s like an idea when you’re in the shower it’s like I’m
and shower he’s a great idea the angels always come to you when you’re moving that’s I’m in the middle of pooping
don’t go to me now it’s an appropriate time yeah I’ve really changed the Bible a lot
does this is that where Mary was how this I’m gonna stop talking now ok perfect
that sounds good i like that idea that’s what do you guys got what you
guys got one person is going to jump up with with this let’s say just looks
kinda everybody knows this yeah I don’t leave the fucking idiot we
used to talk a lot about this back in the eighties I’m and you know and an angel statue
always it’s when a a an attractive young lady with long fingernails lightly
scrapes upon your taint haha it is an angel steps good yeah it
against man is definitely in the Bible oh yeah that’s definitely a viable I
know for sure that some 120 don’t look it up so is it because it’s an angel or
because her name is angel it’s because it feels so good so maybe like an angel yeah what I kind of get points like this what’s the real definition I hope I’m
right when you’re paying or shitting wow you’re a fuckin times the urinal
toilet area where other dicks have probably been Wow how’s that is associated with an
angel in any way that doesn’t make any sense at all the battles that shows as
close to which means we were right so now – so you might points points to team
whole lot here’s Wade and I would be way better
than ice cream place where we are definition we have great because it’s
better what was that yeah it is a lot of initiation usually
was yours was funnier I want to get points to him that you can
take her . okay like so it . so I’m gonna ask to us with one thing . i think
we should get more catholic will take up you’re going to come at points have
points to hold half points – don’t touch fantastic it’s only until the children
get to 18 and then we go back all right you got it that’s standard I
just wondered i want to find out charge for an angel stuff that’s kind of a team
don’t touch his word is master mate oh that’s masterbate masterbating that’s
that’s a that’s a household find a dime for every time i heard that in my house may I go I don’t answer i’m gonna go to
think will you answer okay haha you know if you’re like me a man on
the go yep I you have to make the most of your
time yeah and and as a man on the go yep i am paying for you is it working
I’m here ok as a man on the go anymore but there are
couple things that I like to do a pleasure myself right and uh and uh and
participate in some intelligent game activity so of course master mate is
when you check off while playing chess do you have like Casper off did that one
time yeah yeah yeah that’s that’s one when do
you get to climax uh whenever you would have whenever you
get the Queen yeah that’s masturbating barbers end of time to come up with some
sure i don’t know if there’s never enough time to come up with anything i’m
going to say that masked man i’m gonna go along the lines of work tom was going
and really yeah because you know obviously it’s
something about masturbating yeah we all know that i’m gonna say it’s
someone who enjoys masturbating so much that they don’t want to date anybody so
they take themselves as a mate and they call their hand their match to me and
you go like the rose ceremony with it yeah you marry your hand basically or
there’s another ritual he become a middle-aged man haha like Joel uh all right that’s good
that actually makes a lot of sense to be added to their you guys had a lot of
time she’s guys mark and worries just gonna
go for it who’s gonna go for our anyone Master me Matthew mate man here in a
sentence please yes that’s not the game ok Matthew mate it’s win you decide to masturbate while
you’re menstruating I don’t want it to grow their the school
let out the slow person is going to drop the mic no no no I didn’t realize oh no it’s not funny but it’s true John
it’s true Matthew mate that it’s what you meant
straight with the glowing you masturbate it has to be what I was gonna be it but
word is a word how I have a different idea of what it could be activated if
i’m wrong fucking definition I had two words in one word also renders the flick
and flow but what’s the clickable link and although that’s another word for
master i just like why is this person that I am yes I’m just amazing where is done is
that we not only its wisdom I’m not so much for learning very much
about myself and the world i am curious your well I can I don’t wait in the running for internet
for the game but I am curious what Adams is it’s an Australian word for when you
and your mate or jerking each other off oh that’s good you got a master’s mate
and two nite that was good that was good so i think
it is is that it’s not in the running for the definition of the game but i
would get five points to Adam for that one yeah i was five points there’s a lot of
like really polite clapping this episode of all it’s not I just because we’re in the presence of
an older gentleman should be the respect for the old guard that they don’t want
to scare me you can that be cool and when I die I hope it’s here haha and I hope it’s like after the
first or second game to my partner just has to work with well we haven’t gotten revealing a
weekend at Bernie’s like sort of the big let you go on that i use tom that’s right now technology wise master
mate shut up shut up it originated from the word estimate to
masturbates to guess how much longer I can last while masturbating oh it’s like you know when you’re
masturbating you kind of make a guess like how much longer I have a question
why would you care well he made a game of it with chess
message that we missed the meeting no but like why do you I’m like oh five
more minutes yeah Oh anybody thinking about times well maybe like well what if you’re like
a practice that you have to have enough for me to kill you want to make it you
know see how long you can go ok do you like go get close and then you
stop and then you get close and then you know but also if you doing with yourself who wins you your you win every time
that’s the fun of the game yeah but to me I mean why take you back to me it’s a
goal or a net oriented activity I mean you just admit I’m here to do
this it’s a race yeah yeah then you got TV to watch since eight holes to fill ya since its sense of sin city actually
involved a game element to them to get points of time on that one good yeah well good yeah I’m so before that’s the end of a
kind of 16 thank you very much before we get two points to find out who’s losing
because it’s a real nail-biter get off me get off me touching you may
not think about these two words much and you may not even know how important they
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card calm / on the spot right now so they know who sent you we did yeah we really are good at that for the first third I thought you were
explaining the rules to the next game let’s find out what the scores are Joel
credit scores let’s use credit scores instead of
actual school Oh like a UT football game rose quartz oh I’m so you guys are
losing yeah we’re used to it up in life so we have a little bit of a challenge I
got you guys a little treat I mean we like to eat things that an
actual happy meal on on on the spot now so yeah we bought it have to be happy so
you guys are going to we’re gonna put a timer on the clock and you guys need to
eat through the happy meal as fast you can so if you guys want to open it up
and Divya doubt as to what you have available and me and I’m assuming you
want to take the problem so this is all you because you’re lucky what’s in there it’s fucking bugs isn’t
it doesn’t look like it was on here maybe I can eat this Oh where’s the play all right we went to
eat it all we have the food can we bring the food up we actually made it a lot easier for you
and so we’ve kind of like all we’ve kind of predigested it so we took the the
happy meal and we made sure you a couple of shot glasses have some nice blended
happy meal so how you guys are down 60 points i will give you 30 points a shot
i will give you guys need to even out the score is per shot so it’s a nice
shot of happiness on can tell you right now Joe will not be there is zero chance
on the planet Earth I’m drinking this just so I can have John I have an idea you have been able I will I will do this
okay but you have to do with me no it’s not have to show where are you a joke that got to do with me so I’m
gonna do it I’ll do it for 30 points help i will do it you’re not going to do 30 points at him
with 30 points going to get me going to get you close enough where if you do
well next game right Tom here you go x times 1 player ready and I like right
here bottoms up oh what’s that what’s that what’s the
term for success after hard i go find it was finalized in a fatty yeah all right here’s what I’m gonna do it
was good just so you don’t get upset with me ok it’s going to get my beer and I’m
worried about that ok you don’t believe me it tastes like
french fries and a patty ready bottoms up as he swallowed it yet cop it’s amazing cause us to see it’s
the same thing it’s just in a different form it’s just a different floor I’m a little bit older and you guys were
back in the seventies that’s how they serve the happy meal oh I was that Adams annually that close
to puking really see my eyes not fucking joke I had been able to know why this is here
Barbie would like the toy in the toy no fuck that yes dad Adam earned the toy you guys can split the tour have added
want to eat now let’s play a little game of cards about what you do is you get me
when you get to my way i like it bugs the last time i was on here i took that did you fucking really my data it was
fucking beyond bugs are you leaving like this right here is your world where
there is a check and bugs are a delicacy high protein before I would take a
fucking mealworm any day over that shit that was fucking disgusting it not me alright so points to both teams are
addressed John thank you very much let’s move on to out there about still
going with Stacey storytelling benefit maybe storyteller each team is gonna be
given a scenario they’ll be given characters are gonna act out there
seemed like actual improv artist and they’re gonna do that six o’clock that
don’t see me they’re gonna do that using the alphabet to start of each line of
their dialogues they go back and forth to get points for each letter of the
alphabet that they get through to get a extra points if they get through
excellency don’t do it but if you want to get points for X Z and you get
negative points for if you use the wrong letter so we skipped a letter that you
know can we start with a saturday it’s a randomizer randomizing back there
okay his name is Patrick his name is no we
actually randomizer I so that makes everybody I don’t know what a randomizer is what
it starts with Z I think it’s one of those guns back around you and yet you
look back round to get dizzy ready to be a great believer in the same for you so
get there is late again let’s start off with team don’t touch
find out what barb and Tom’s scenario is so we have a proper you so I Thomas
taking his terminally ill dog to the vet to be put down all right Oh Bob is the best performing the
procedure at time to something convinced Tom to eat and see if she can eat their
dog after its done so for anyone seen my dog yeah so you ready for the race is i’ll
start with p we’ll start with Tom watch ready set go pets are very special and I’m afraid
that that Francis is it’s our time quite it is it is quite the time that we
put your dog down really i’m glad that you’re the one to
do it because we’ve developed such a trust in a bond as a vet in a patron and
she really really likes you stay strong it will be difficult but
there’s a good thing you could do after your pet is gone today’s the day to taste the day daddy loves you daddy love you very much
under some circumstances circumstances after a dog has passed if you add the correct seasoning it’s
actually quite delicious very confused i’m feeling very confused veterinarian what’s confusing about that that’s what it said it that’s it we want more it’s at that point of view
but i want to talk about of our reading his dog a lot more yeah i know i want to get on friday
feeling we were really invested in the character very much I mean I was trying to get there but I
had some difficult letters like you and stuff and Qi had q and you those are those of everybody knows those
are the hardest letter they’re also not the most of the witches letters so it’s
difficult to what is happening over here nothing was a what is happening every
time spilled weird shot hamburger everywhere all right all right
I’m sorry i was really but emotionally invested in dog I really felt for Tom barber I don’t
think you really want to eat the dog I was getting there at the first had to
consult him yeah you have to load them into your injury clutches I think you did a great job yanked your
wife sort of team let’s find out what team holds scenario is i so Adam is the
judge for a mr. America pageant right in the Q&A portion the show and joel is
contestant in the pageant keeps responding with unconventional answers
to the judges questions so maybe not the most appropriate answers in a mr.
America pageant first off Joel what are you are you mr.
Texas or would you like to yes i would like to be mr. porto rico
all pray this prayer with us what letter is R off with g at six
o’clock ready set go great to have you here Joel what do you
have to say for all the kids look up to you hi homeless people are a big problem in
our country today I don’t think that’s necessarily what
we’re asking for but could you elaborate just a little bit more just because our
judges hate homeless people is no reason for you not to give to your local pet
animal shelter cemetery ok what would you say you hold in the
highest regard in terms of your morals but what letter you on I said case okay listen we judge we only need one judge to ask these
questions there is appropriate also world peace maybe that’s right what are your thoughts on finances who did not want to go there yeah hey the nice thing about this game is I
don’t have to give points they just get points for how many
letters they get to get so here’s my favorite thing about the show yeah getting you aggravated yes it’s
only been a fun one show and he figured out a whole point of all it’s not it’s
not hard no no getting him aggravated and you annoyed
both very it’s like a constant so easy it’s John hi hi Joel let’s find out what points are all that
i can’t believe that i do with Donald shit for nothing surprise isn’t that the best ah so deep
in touch thank you so much you guys to defend has a job I want to once again say thank you to
put cardio calm and critical response in this episode and i want to give a thanks
to all my guests Adam Joel Barbara especially my special guest Tom I just acting for having set up on the
spot hi everybody what we’re doing Patrick we are doing today is redemption
challenge they have to eat a happy meal that’s been blended so we’re about the
blend assign one hamburger kind of toppings on that baby Oh mr. mustard ketchup pickles and
that’s it tries to let them keep the prize Apple’s got to keep it healthy and cook it just sounds disgusting yeah oh my god that’s disgusting god that’s not a full shot I’m being
kind of the goodbye full oh this is awful culture head smell you got fired I’ll
try one that all right Nick all right oh that’s actually not bad aside from the fact that it’s the apples
significant that’s the worst part they’re gonna let it go

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