Payday 2 – PSA: Cloakers, or Police Brutality
In tonight’s news: The tragic story of a
local jewelry store that has been robbed 50 times in a row already but refuses to give
up. But first, we have received reports of police
beating innocent citizens into submission. A concerned bystander who just happened to
be carrying a high definition camera managed to film the incident. The victim’s lawyer had his client released almost instantly after the incriminating footage
appeared on the internet and led to widespread outcry and uproar in the community of well-dressed
gentleman. The victim wishes to remain anonymous and
only told us that he was “a legitimate businessman involved in the
transfer of money and valuables”. Check back later on this developing story, but first,
a message from our sponsors. Are your guards dropping like flies? Perhaps you should consider hiring our cloakers! They come fully equipped with a
suppressed Compact-5, are immune to ECM feedback, and if nobody has spotted them they will even
survive a tripmine blast on deathwish difficulty. Criminals that are foolish enough to let them
get too close will get kicked down almost instantly.
Hire our cloakers today, and terrorize your neighbourhood with their high-pitched noise!
Cloakers are available on a limited basis per area, contact us now for our free offer.
Standard warranty does not apply, broken cloakers cannot be returned.
Kickdown does not count towards bleedout counter. High-pitched noise is working as intended
and cannot be switched off, even during coffee breaks. Welcome back to our broadcast. Apparently the police has just made a counterclaim
stating that the supposed victims were actually involved in the genocidal slaughter
of multiple hundreds of policemen. However, the victim’s lawyer was quick to respond
that this was “a case of mistaken identity and
his clients were obviously wearing totally different masks”. According to the lawyer,
his clients were on their way to a local cosplay convention.
The owner of a local mask store commented that he “sells similar masks on a daily
basis and that it is impossible to know who is wearing them.” Before we continue, we
interrupt this broadcast for a short public service announcement.
Are you aware of the dangers of cloakers? Everyday they beat up innocent people, but
you can help to prevent this. Cloakers hide like cats in dark alleyways,
under cars, behind doors, and even in vents.
Regularly putting out tripmines in these places can help you catch cloakers unawares,
otherwise shooting them in the head is generally a quick solution.
Help your fellow citizens, and shoot a cloaker if you see them.
This message was brought to you by the PAC For a Saver America, and is endorsed by senator
John Henry Simmons