Payday : The Heist 2 : The Squeakuel


Alright, Gotta talk to Bane. uh-oh… Looks like the Joker was already here. [telephone ringing] oh- There he is. *muffled*
Hello, Payday the Heist. *muffled*
It’s me, BANE. Please pick a different one, That one is too scaaary for me. Thinks he can sit outta the job and still take a slice. I see why they call ‘im “The Joker”. Alright I can’t move… Alright, this one’s for real. This is a real one. This is the heist… I ca- I still can’t move. I do miss the feature from Payday 1, where I could uh, move around and aim. Maybe I need to take the Dunkey mastery. There we go. [makes noises to the music] *music continues*
You guys are throwing off my groove, *music continues*
do the song everybody’s gotta do the song. [continues to make noise to music] [continues to make noise to music]
OTHER PLAYER: Can you just not talk? How about that one… [makes louder noises] I bet the Joker told you to shoot me after the heist! To get a bigger ssssschsssfffssssssc- SCORE! I’ll kill you first. OTHER PLAYER: I’lljus- This is the worst matchmaking thing I’ve ever seen… Alright, I think we got it this time. Eh- eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEh- Daaaaaaaauuuuuuugh- I can feel it on this one! It’s gonna work! It’s gonna wor- Here we go! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *while patting his legs*
e-e-e-e-e-e-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E *while patting his legs*
E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-H HOLEEEY SH*T! It’s BATMAN! Don’t worry Bats! I’ll take care of the hostages! The hostages are the- Doctors – dressed up like clowns, Those are the bad guys. I’ll shoot all these guys. I bet the Joker told you to betray me after the heist! Uh, can you put uh- a ammo down… DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE- Uh-ooooh He’s helping me! Thanks Batman! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHYEEEEEEE- Uh-oooooh Don’t worry guys. I’ve MASTERED this level. What the F*CK?!? There’s a milli- *to Leah*
Y’have to- Press F, and you gotta- Yell at them to get on the floor Leah: Ooooooh. GET ON THE FLOOR! Leah: Come back here! Yeah, you’re really menacing. *to Cry*
Alright, you’re the gimp and I’m the United States. I don’t think your in game mic’s working, so I’ll just. Cry: Okay…that’s fine. I’ll relay what you say, back to them. Cry: Alright. Cry just said he hates black people. Cry: That is not what I-
[laughs] *turns mic on*
Cry: I did not say that! *turns mic on*
Cry: Why is my mic not working? Cry: Y’know I’ve never once, made the meth properly. Eh, it’s just BASIC Chemistry really. You take the “muriatic acid”, and you put that on the- [explosion] Uh-oooooooooooooo *rambling over each other*
Cry: Uhhh, now I’m gonna run away now. *rambling over each other*
Cry: Byeeee. *still rambling over each other*
Let’s just, get the f*ck outta here! We WIN! I got you! Both: No look I got you up! I did it. PC: No look I got him first. No I got him up! PC: No way it was- No I did! Cry: It’s okay guys it was- No- Cry: a group effort. *screaming over each other*
BOTH: NO I DID IT! NO IT WAS ME! A swat must have got you or something. Here, I’ll get you up again. Like the first time. ‘member that? *through laughter*
Cry: Oh *through laughter*
Cry: I thought I was down the whole time! *through laughter*
Cry: but I was just crouching! Both: [laughing] Cry: [uncontrollable laughter] *suspense strings*
Cry: I frozed! *suspense strings*
Cry: [continues laughing] *suspense strings*
MPH: what? *suspense strings*
Cry: [almost creepy laughter] Cry: What’s this? Oh, that’s a sentry gun… PC: I’m outta ammo. Cry: Doesn’t look anything like the real sentries from Team Fortress, right? It’s FAKE! PC: Aww man look at that! It’s just shooting the car. PC: That’s like the Alienware™ laptop. Alright, get in the chopper everybody! Hee-HAAAA! Cry: Alright, good-GOT IT ! Uh ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo0oooooooooooooooooooooooo Cry: Awwwww! Cry: No! Thank you Paul Cheenis! PC: There we go! Cry: Alright. God, there’s so many of them! Cry: Hurry up! There’s SO many of them! PC: I got you! Gogogogogo! PC: I’ll cover you! Alright, I’m gonna try and do the jump again! Cry: Oh god were getting killed hurry up! [laughter] If you get killed in this mission you gotta go Awwwww Rats! I got the money! Where do I put it in? Cry: You gotta throw it in. Cry: You gotta chuck it. In the helicopter? PC: Oh god they’re taking the money. Cry: Make sure you got a good arc, alright? Alright, just like Chuck. E. Cheese back home. Yah! Everyone: Awwwwww… God Dammit! Right in the ocea- Alright, I got it this time! I got it! PC: Oh Shi- Jordan! Cry: I believe in you man! Everyone: Awwwww! RATS! MPH: Awww. Third time’s the charm! Give me one more shot! PC: Dunkey! Here you go! One more shot! Yeah, just give me one more shot It’s all I need Here we go! YAH! MPH: America go get the mu- Uh Uh
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Cry: It’s ninety grand, each bag! You’re throwing in the water! that’s impossible! MPH: Wha-! Cry: He’s throwing over- Cry: Two hundred and seventy thousand dollars in the water! Okay-okay! I got it this time! I got it! I ge-Give me one more shot! *in slow motion*
Get in there! *in slow motion*
Get in there, you *in slow motion*
fucking whore! *in slow motion*
Shaq, baby! *in slow motion*
Shoot the J! Cry: Oh my god you made it! Yes! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Cry there’s a sniper behind you! He’s up on the thing! Ooooooooo Down he goes. Aww sh*t! There’s another sniper behind you cry! Cry: Naaaugh. Turn around! [laughing] Cry: Really? [chuckles] *whisper*
got ’em! No for real there’s another sniper now! There’s a real sniper! He’s behind you! He’s behind you I’m telling you! Cry: shutup! Cry: shutup! [laughing] He was behind! You can still get him! You can shoot him! *through laughter*
Cry: I was shooting god *through laughter*
Cry: For putting me here. “Yo, Wolf! Come with me!” “Dallas! Follow me!” “Wolf! I need Wolf!”
“OH! Dallas! On, me! “Yo Wolf! Come with me!” “Ey DALLAS!” You follow- You follow him! “Dallas! Follow Me!”
“-YO WOLF!” You follow me! I’ll follow you! Cry: *laughing* *through laughter*
You follo- PC: No you follow me! No, YOU follow me, I- Y-You follow him! He follows you! I’ll follow you! You follow me! PC: Okay. He follows- No, you follow him! PC: You’ll follow him! You follow out! Alright! You follo- No, you follow him “Hey!” Alright And you follow me Let’s go Augh SH*T GOD There’s a million f*cking swat out there Okay, this is a christian heist! I don’t want any stealing or killing on this one. Activate your stealth. PC: Stealth! Cry: Stealth Activate! PC: Active! MPH: Stealth Activate! MPH: Guys! Guys! MPH: Guys… MPH: There’s a black guy Alright, go kill him Cry… Cry: No!

100 comments on “Payday : The Heist 2 : The Squeakuel”

  1. Thorenic says:

    "It's basic chemistry, really…"
    You have unlocked: F in Chemistry

  2. Mittens FastPaw says:

    I'm convinced dunkey on my team would result in a blood vessel in my brain popping and me becoming a serial donkey killer.

  3. Cabinet Slayer says:

    I BET DUNKEY TOLD YOU TO SUBSCRIBE AFTER THE VIDEO. NOT IF I DO IT FIRST

  4. Jack Brady says:

    Dunkey saying "uh oooh" should be my alarm in the morning.

  5. Deer says:

    payduck 2 : the dunk

  6. freshpajamas says:

    I won't stop dabbing, nigga. Bet money bet the fuckin money nigga I got flex I got swag I got butter beans, bitch

  7. n0ir says:

    Bain is here to kick you out of the glitch and make you move boi, *K I C K*

  8. Crono Sapien says:

    Dunkey's black but he told Cry to go shoot a black guy. He turned on his own kind.

  9. TheReFakero says:

    dunkey predicted payday 3

  10. Jojo's Bizzare Adventure Part 5: Golden Dance says:

    My fucking sides

  11. Dipti Vaidya says:

    Cry is POODS FRIEND AND DUNKS

  12. BayX1337 says:

    What's the name of the heist at the very start, where he answers the phone? 😮 Thank you in advance ^^

  13. karatevaldi says:

    why is the game tilted?

  14. Jeck says:

    "alright you're the gimp and im the united states"

  15. Justin Rodriguez says:

    "HOLY SH*T, IS BATMAN" I cracked up there 😂😂😂

  16. P.S.L says:

    bain got no brain 😀

  17. Totema1 says:

    BA BA BA
    CHUGGA GHIGGA

  18. Undyne The Knight says:

    Seeing this four year old video makes me miss my old payday crew 😭

  19. Eli Feye says:

    people like dunkey are the reason I hate playing Payday 2.

  20. Akshay Ravi Kumar says:

    Ayyyy, Cry!! 😀

  21. Feuerfuxchen says:

    omg its a Cry!

  22. Bryan Vallejo says:

    Does the game look washed out or is it just me

  23. Leisure says:

    More videos with Cry!

  24. Nodus Zen says:

    awww i love cry
    i remember watch him with pewdiepie
    i wonder if they are stil frens

  25. Terry Greene says:

    I'm bout tell everyone to watch you. This shit is to funny

  26. Combat Llama says:

    love how this is listed as Payday: The Heist

  27. Jane Zetkin says:

    I wonder how many people that dunkey plays with realize it was dunkey fucking with them

  28. Kjersten says:

    I was having a really garbage day but dunkey's videos always lift my mood :))

  29. Spike Slice says:

    Who's voice was that that said come back here?

  30. Selçuk Emre says:

    I bet The Joker told you to kill me after the video!

  31. Todd Howard says:

    Who's the trap

  32. Waffle Duck says:

    F O L L O W ME

  33. Nivek Ogilvie says:

    "Oh shit gahd! There's a million fucking SWAT out there!!"

    Just the way he yelled that made crack up

  34. Old Cyril The Gaming Grandpa says:

    Uh ooooooohhhhh,,,,,,

  35. Mc Fudge says:

    Nice Aqua Teen reference, Dunkster

  36. Torqegood says:

    Who is dumb enough to kick dunkey

  37. Kirschi Ger says:

    My fav quote from donkey is the "oooh oooh"

  38. UltraGaming 49 says:

    we need a mod that replaces Transporter with Dunkey Mastery.

  39. Wayne B says:

    I fucking love Cry!

  40. jonbravo2 says:

    I lost it at the bags into the helicopter.

  41. Hentai Cadet says:

    I don't like her voice because it's too quiet, I also don't like my voice because it's too quiet.

  42. Slack O'Lantern says:

    Cry and Dunkee together? Holy crap that's amazing!

  43. Matthew mcCollum says:

    Ethan and hila or in Payday 2 just want to tell you that next time ask the developers than they've the game the ad you in fact maybe you could be a DLC as well as idubbbz or filthy Frank I don't know I want those guys in there too or Maxmoefoe as well as anythingforviews

  44. robensate says:

    woaaaah hella old payday 2!

  45. Panda Panda says:

    squeakquel*

  46. Shloompy Doompy says:

    I used to find this video funny, but know that I play a shit ton of payday 2 this video just makes me frustrated when he does dumb shit.

  47. Archmagerino Antonidaserino Kripperrino says:

    Uh-oh…

  48. Roberto Vargas says:

    -The joker told me to kill you after the heist haha!
    -You have been kicked

  49. Zi Zizi says:

    orphan dunkey

  50. Call Me Chris says:

    is that the gay ass alian that made those cat commercials?

  51. Nuclear The Furfag says:

    Geeeeet iiin theerrreee yooouuuu fuucckiiiiinn whoooorrre

  52. Lucas Reimer says:

    Anyone else notice how nobody has talked about the switch version since it released?

  53. THE _ VOID says:

    Christian heist

  54. Harrison Carney says:

    Love all the Dark Knight references

  55. Varun Aiyar says:

    UHHHHHHHHHHH
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  56. brodie picknell says:

    dunkey: its basic chemistry

    meth blows up

    achievment get: F in chemistry

  57. Thomas J. says:

    Bi da, be ba do, chigo-chigo

    BA DE BO, DE BA, GA, DE BO, CHIGA-CHIGO!

  58. gdels says:

    1:15 sounds like the start of a queen song

  59. Montesama314 says:

    "I got it this time… JORDAN!… Ahhh, rats."

  60. porks says:

    At least game knows it is violent.

    History is violent and it is not honest. It says it is justice.

    Wow

  61. Adam Nelligan says:

    2:08

  62. Brett Chadwick says:

    Leah sounds so threatening

  63. The megamaster says:

    0:04
    Ms Liberty: WE live in a society

  64. Joe says:

    M E G A M I N D 2

  65. 00 Raiser says:

    uh oh

  66. Elijah Burnett says:

    more CryXDunkey!!!!

  67. OldOnePiece says:

    Oh wow, he's playing with Cryaotic. I havent seen him in a while.

  68. spy master says:

    Why are you acting like a baby and annoying on purpose.

  69. Zack WithaK says:

    I love Payday 2 and the title alone fucking killed me

  70. ʜᴏᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟɪᴇɴ says:

    I love the dark Knight references dunkey makes in some of his videos

  71. Brendon says:

    "dats like the Alienware laptop"

  72. ʜᴏᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟɪᴇɴ says:

    3:08 i just realized he was tryna do the joker theme from dark Knight 💀

  73. William Deakin says:

    XD I didn't know you knew Cry

  74. Squirtle Is The Best Pokemon says:

    UH OHH
    DUNKEY BUSTED

  75. A Cat says:

    Wait, payday 2 had voice chat, huh, i never knew because nobody i played with online uses it.

  76. random commenter says:

    oh yeah yeah

  77. Sorurus says:

    The DUMBFUCK gang

  78. Paul Moitoso says:

    No one plays this game anymore. Probably because it sucks.

  79. 37thherro? S says:

    Dunkey man you need to make some changes to the way you make videos. I'm watching this video for the 10th time and I'm not finding myself as entertained as I once was.

  80. Danny says:

    SHOOT THE JAY! SHOOT IT!

  81. Thomas Ning says:

    1:25 5 years later, the closest thing is some war game which is worse than payday 2.

  82. rekdoman says:

    The graphics really MAKE YOU FEEL like Batman.

  83. Greenpoptartover9000 says:

    Oo! A Dunkey & Cry crossover! Nice!

  84. cool user name says:

    OH SHIT cryotic. I recognize that life and mask. I loved his dishonored gameplay

  85. Captain Doomsday says:

    Leah would be hard to consider a threat even if she WERE armed to the teeth. She's the perfect criminal.

  86. catulu J says:

    As a payday player, this video hurt me

  87. Rus Sia Sia says:

    00:40 is dunkey related to Steve Oedekerk by any chance? this song is so familiar)))

  88. Jonathaniel Cha says:

    just like chucky cheese back home

  89. Neked Snek6990 says:

    Payday
    Every obsessed joker fans fantasy…..

  90. EL CHAPPIE says:

    3:08

  91. xSavvy _-FrmL says:

    His “Uh Ohs” give me life

  92. Fdrew Fdrew says:

    Bring Cry and Moist together

  93. Lol Lol says:

    After all these years i just noticed that i played with dunkey…… I was batman at min 1:30

    I've been blessed

  94. TheDankyestMemes19 says:

    0:56 Michael Jackson

  95. LightningBolt says:

    Привет

  96. The Hit Lister says:

    Loved this video, it's basic chemistry, you just take the meltric acid and…… Boom

  97. matrixcode says:

    1:25 🙁

  98. Mecha Spider says:

    3:47
    Old dunkey: says he's gonna jump but he was actually kidding
    Actual dunkey: Tries to jump three times and everyone probably loses because of him
    I like this evolution

  99. Late Hate says:

    It took me five years, but I’ve finally found proof that The Heist 2:The Squeal is just a ripoff of the underrated cult classic, Alvin and the Squekuel, the game on DS.

  100. IRatherNotSay26 says:

    I wonder how Cry is these days

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